Life after divorce can be lonely so it is important to be open to finding love again, but you must be ready. Here are 5 things to consider before returning to the dating world after your divorce that will help you gauge whether or not you are ready.
Whether you were married 5 years or 25 years, returning to the world of dating after a divorce can be a daunting task. If you were married a long time, it is especially scary, but it is important not to let yourself become so paralyzed by fear that you choose to rule out putting any effort into finding love again. Life after divorce can be lonely so it is important to be open to finding love again, but you must be ready. Here are 5 things to consider before returning to the dating world after your divorce that will help you gauge whether or not you are ready:
1. Where are you in the healing process?
Divorce is a major life event. Like any other life changing event you may go through, it requires time to heal. How much time is a very individual issue. Often after a divorce it is natural to feel guilt, to blame yourself, and to question your instincts, especially if you didn’t see the divorce coming. It is also natural to have strong feelings of anger towards your ex, and this can be prolonged if the legal settlement takes time. If you are still thinking about your ex frequently, whether your thoughts are good or bad, you are not ready to date. To be able to attract a healthy relationship, you need to have healed from your previous one so take the time to heal and work on you.
2. Have you reclaimed you?
After a divorce, it is common to feel insecure, unwanted and full of self doubt. This is not the way you want to feel about yourself when you re-enter the dating world. You want to be confident and secure. You need to take the time to work on yourself so that you feel this way. Also, following divorce many people feel a loss of identity. They don’t know who they are anymore. In order to know what you are looking for, you need to know who you are as a person, separate from your ex-spouse. Reclaiming your identity is part of the healing process, but it is so important, it is being stressed as a separate consideration.
3. Are you in a position to attract what you want?