Divorce can be an emotional and stressful journey for everyone involved, especially children. It is undeniably a difficult time for kids, so it is critical to recognize the effects of divorce on them. Children may feel confused and uneasy, and their lives appear to be in chaos. Several of the difficulties are discussed here from the perspective of a child.
The first challenge that children of divorce face is the separation of their parents. This can be especially challenging if the child did not see it coming or if the parents have been bickering for a long time. When Dr.Thomas Jordan, “a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst” (Love Life Learning Centre), was on Divorcing Well the podcast, he was asked by Leanne Townsend, a family lawyer, if it is true that people model behaviors learned from their parents. Dr.Jordan says, “Unfortunately, a large percentage of people do that, and they learn by either replicating the relationship they had when they were growing in their family of origin or observations, as you’re pointing out. Even instruction sometimes takes place, people—elders will teach young children what to do in their love life.” This can have a critical impact on children in the future.
Another impression that children of divorce have is that they are caught in the middle. When parents divorce, they often ask their children to pick sides. Sometimes parents may speak harshly about the other parent in front of the child. This might make the children feel that they must choose between their parents or keep secrets from one parent to please the other. This can be an incredibly confusing situation for a child to navigate.
Adjusting to new living circumstances is one of the most difficult problems for children of divorce. Shifting between two homes may be upsetting and stressful, especially if the child must change schools or leave friends behind. Also, the child may have to adjust to new routines, norms, and expectations in each family, which can be frustrating.
Loss of time with one or both parents is another challenge that children of divorce encounter. When parents divorce, their children may not see one parent as frequently as they used to or may miss out on crucial events due to custody agreements. This can be especially challenging for younger children, who may not understand why they cannot always see both parents.
Lastly, children of divorce may have emotions of guilt and responsibility for their parents’ divorce. They may assume that their behavior or actions caused the divorce, which can lead to emotions of unhappiness and blaming themselves.
In conclusion, divorce can be a difficult and emotional experience for children. As parents, it is important to be aware of the impact that divorce can have on our children and to provide them with love, support, and understanding as they navigate this challenging time.
Citations:
“Divorce and Separation – a Child’s Perspective – Sanns Divorce Mediation NJ.” Sanns Divorce Mediation NJ, www.sannsmediation.com/divorce-and-separation-a-childs-perspective.
Townsend, Leanne, host. “Healing Your Disappointing Love Life With Dr.Thomas Jordan” Divorcing Well, season 4, episode 14, November 15, 2022, https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/divorcing-well/id1498258120?i=1000586226879
“Love Life Learning Center.” Love Life Learning Center, 30 Oct. 2022, https://lovelifelearningcenter.com
