Your Biggest Self-Care Tool May Not Be What You Think

The only way that women will become more empowered in this world is by becoming financially independent. We are inundated these days on social media with tips about selfcare and constant posts about the importance of it in our lives.


We hear about meditation, journaling, exercise , healthy eating, reading, and many other activities that we are told we need to regularly do in our lives as part of our selfcare.  These are all great activities that should be incorporated into our daily lives, however, this list may be missing what is perhaps the most important selfcare tool we have: achieving financial independence by making OUR OWN money.

Money is power in our society.  To be an empowered woman, we must make our own money and be financially independent. Money gives us the ability to walk away from things that are bad for us:  relationships, jobs, friends, family, and social engagements.  So many women end up getting trapped in abusive relationships because they are financially dependent on their abusers and walking away means walking into a life of poverty.

Countless women every year find themselves in their fifties or sixties, going through a divorce and being completely reliant on spousal support and the settlement from the divorce to support themselves.   Talk about a stressful situation, having no job, having not worked in years, and being reliant on someone who mistreats you for your financial wellbeing.

The women’s movement has brought countless women into the workforce performing every type of job. Yet, the shocking reality in 2019 is that there are still many women who are completely dependent on a man for their financial well being, and not only that, they have no knowledge or understanding of the family finances, budget or income. While I think being a stay at home mom raising children is one of the most admirable jobs one could have, the reality is that a woman puts herself in a very vulnerable position when she does this.  With today’s high divorce rate, having your own earning power is one of the most important skills that you can have.

Understanding money is another important skill to have in 2019.  Many women are uncomfortable with money, budgeting, investing and getting a basic understanding of how to grow their net worth.  Women still earn less than men for equal work, and many women also undervalue themselves by asking for less money than their skills are actually worth in the market place.


As women, we need to spend as much time talking to each other about making money, business opportunities and investing, as we do about meditation, journaling or having a me day.  The only way that women will become more empowered in this world is by becoming financially independent. We need to put as much importance on making our own money as we do on deciding whether to follow a keto or gluten free diet. 


While it is lovely to talk about selfcare, the harsh reality is that if you have no money, the selfcare tools we constantly hear promoted are going to be of little consequence to you.  This is the reason that financial independence is the biggest form of selfcare and selflove that you can have.  While talking about money isn’t as fun a stalking about recipes and new personal development books, it is a conversation that more women need to be having on a more regular basis. Selfcare and selflove doesn’t always have to involve being warm and fuzzy, it can also involve being practical too.

Leanne Townsend is a multifaceted entrepreneur and attorney experienced in the areas of family law and domestic violence. She provides a full range of family law legal services in addition to running workshops and other programs to support people as they go through divorce.

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