We tend to think of conflict as negative, but it can also serve as a catalyst for growth, pushing individuals to address underlying issues and improve communication.
On a recent episode of the Divorcing Well podcast, host Leanne Townsend spoke with Leadership Communications Coach and Media Personality Elissa Lansdell about how to thrive through conflict.
Lansdell points out that most conflict is rooted in fear, and by identifying the underlying issue, individuals can address these concerns directly, fostering a more constructive dialogue and resolution.
“Every time you feel fear or stress, this is the ego trying to keep you safe. You can put the ego in the back seat and replace the judgement with curiosity,” she says.
Lansdell also shares practical tips and techniques to improve communication with your ex and thrive through the conflict.
If you’re stuck in a negative communication pattern with your former partner and want to break the cycle, you won’t want to miss this episode.
Listen on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen to your favourite podcasts.
The reasons behind late-in-life divorce after decades of marriage
Although divorce is common today, it can be surprising when it involves older couples who have spent many years together.
After so much shared time and experience, what might prompt the decision to separate? The question becomes even more poignant when considering the history they’ve built together and the challenges they’ve already overcome as a team.
In a recent Psychology Today article, American psychologist Mark Travis says that grey divorces are hardly abrupt: it is often a result of a two-phase process.
“The first phase leading up to a grey divorce often involves long-term dissatisfaction in the marriage,” Travis wrote.
The causes of these dissatisfactions may involve long-standing issues such as verbal or physical abuse, lack of communication, infidelity or a complete shift in the perspective of one of the spouses.
The second phase is the decisiveness or clarity stage. According to Travis, this is where the dissatisfied partner decides to leave the marriage due to the accumulated mental stress from ongoing discord.
Co-parenting tips for a positive family transition after separation
The new realities of co-parenting after a divorce come with its challenges. How chaotic this new phase will be for your family depends on your mindset and attitude towards your co-parent.
In a recent Readly blog, co-parenting counsellor Bill Hewlett gives valuable lessons to help co-parents reshape their families successfully.
According to Hewlett, it’s a good idea to create a less formal and relaxed atmosphere for you and your co-parent to communicate about the welfare of the kids.
He points out that when former couples place their issues with their co-parent above their children’s interests, it negatively affects the kids.
“You’re saying to them, you matter to us less right now than our fight with each other,” Hewlett wrote.
Try not to complain about your co-parent to your kids; this puts them under unnecessary pressure to want to help out, he adds.
Constantly reassure your children that their interests will always be your top priority, regardless of the split.
Seeing the divorce as a new start and an opportunity to secure an even better future will help you co-parent without grudges.
Highlights from Divorce Explained
School choice challenges after separation
Which school children attend after their parents separate is often a source of contention for former couples. In this episode, we break down the issues that newly separated parents should consider.
Are Generation Xers at higher risk for divorce?
In this episode, we discuss the specific challenges faced by Generation X in divorce. Discover why Gen Xers are experiencing unique pressures and what can be done to navigate separations more effectively.
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